I am laying in bed when I should be at work, my knee is throbbing and the Tylenol with codeine has not kicked in yet.
In an effort to get my bodacious bod back, I have been riding my mountain bike a few days a week. Last night, I was 25 minutes into 45 minute loop that I have been doing when I decided to mix it up a bit and go up this kind of steep hill *because I thought it would be alot of fun to go down the hill*. During the descent, I hit water and lost control of the bike. I landed in a driveway of a condo association with the bike frame resting heavily on my right knee. I layed for a minute going down the list of questions you ask- Can I breathe? Am I bleeding? Who is the president? AND THEN I FREAKED OUT realizing I was in the driveway and tried to get up on my legs. HA HA HA... the legs were not working - both of them and then I started crying because I thought I had really screwed my body up and crawled on my arms over to the sidewalk, grabbed my phone and called my mom.
I knew my mom was in the garden and was wondering if she would even pick up the phone when I heard her voice and just sobbed into the phone "Come get me, I fell off of my bike and I need help mom". Before she could respond, a man came up to me, from behind scaring the shit out of me and yelled "ARE YOU OK?" I think he thought I may have had a concussion or something but hellooooo I was on the phone? Who has a concussion and makes a phone call. OK, anyway. He was 1/2 of a nice older duo that pulled their car over after they watched me take my spill. The nice wife quickly calmed the scary man down who , at first I thought was a homeless man trying to mug me and then realized he was talking funny because he was from a different country. In my defense, even my mom thought he was a bit strange and possibly drunk but his wife was nice so they balanced each other out.
My mom called our friends Lyle and Sylvia who live in the condo association of the driveway where the event happened and they took my bike back to their house as my mom and I sped off to Kaiser where I played a rousing rendition of "does this hurt" with a doctor as he bent my leg in a million different directions - Good times. He mentioned that I was flexible and I mentioned the word Yoga and he mentioned something about the injury could have been alot worse if without the yoga and that I was to be putting all exercise (yoga included) on hold for 10 days because like crack - exercise kills.... Just kidding. I had a funny moment with my friend J about the dangers of exercise and how I should just really steer clear of any strenuous kind of exercise from here moving forward. All in good fun and jest, of course.
My mother who is just one of the most entertaining people that has this completely wacky side kept me in stictches. I busted out my I-Pod to keep her entertained and stop her from asking me how I was feeling every 5 minutes and she was hooked. The hillarious part was when she wanted to tell me something while the earbuds were in and she didn't realize the volume of her voice. The other moment of laughing insanity was after nurse bitchy-bitch had asked Dr. "I love yoga, but I am not afraid to give you drugs" if I needed crutches and after he confirmed and brought them and excused himself from the room, my mother decided to try to do the moonwalk - using the crutches. I laughed so hard I really thought I might pee my pants.
The funny moments she provided were helpful as I had some really crappy ones, like when I got wheeled into X-ray and the tech asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant. I would have love to come up with something really witty and slightly awkard...but all I could muster was a pathetic..... no. The next moment of ick happened when we returned to Kaiser to pick up my meds and the only parking available was in the Labor and Delivery parking only section that showed a huge stork with a baby and some joyous banter about babies..... URGHHHHHh. All of this so feeling on the surface right now, are these feelings as it was a year ago today that I got the call that I would become a foster parent. I imagine more feelings will resurface within the next week so...there's your warning.
I arrived home with a pair of crutches, prescription Tylenol with codeine, a knee brace and order to not return to work until Friday.
So, while I would like to think I am the bee's knees.... my right knee is struggling. I have an appointment on Friday to see an occupational specialist who will probably twist and turn my knee in another million directions.
