The weight of the world on my .....butt

Work is rough right now and I know I shouldn't be complaining - I should be counting my blessings to be employed, with amazing benefits, in a highly rewarding job. Truthfully, though it's rewarding - my heart and soul just aren't in it anymore. I want to teach full time, I want to find the *right*school and an inspiring principle. I want to pass the effing CSET so bad that tears well up in my eyes when I think about not passing it and subsequently being stuck in said job that I know I should really just be thankful to have.

Today at work, we learned that while we all LOVE working a four day workweek our furloughs will be ending shortly and be replaced with a four-ten schedule. Initially, this was exciting until I thought deeper and realized with my commute I will be spending 12 hours a day in work related mode. I say work related mode because the majority of my commute is spent either thinking/plotting/brainstorming for current projects and/or making work related phone calls.

Then the broke out the "L" word, layoffs impending. The good news is that I am the one presenting at the layoff meetings so I guess if I am getting a layoff notice I would need to be one of the last ones- right? Who knows.

Things could be much worse, I could have cancer, loose a parent or become homeless but I feel like there are so many pieces of the puzzle that aren't fitting together that at times it feels overwhelmingly uncomfortable, tiring and just plain sucky.

It could be worse... my boss is in the same situation as myself with one big exception. She is a single parent - yep, she wins.

Tomorrow, the Governator announces his cuts to the multiple state programs that so many people depend on and of course education cuts are expected as well. This adding to the stress of making a career change to education - what can I say, my timing is well, impeccable. Don't you think?

So - I sub tomorrow in a high school computer class and who wants to put money down on how many times the kids will tell me that it's ok to log on to facebook..... They think they are so smart.

Things I am happy to look forward to -

• We leave for DC in 3 weeks
• My Aunt and Uncle will be visiting next week from Seattle
• My cousin is getting married in San Luis Obispo in July - ROAD TRIP
• My dad turns 60 in August - ALOT to celebrate and plan
• We will have kids the ENTIRE month of June and August and I can't wait to hold little hands, scrub little feet and feel some giant size love from these amazing kiddos.

Saturday, we head here and I will be pretending that I flew to Europe while I sip some of the best coffee in the world and handsome and I stroll around pretending we are guests at a close friends villa on Lake Como-ish. Pacific ocean kind of view.

Pictures to follow. I promise. Gotta head to bed, I have to report to school at ten minutes till 7:00. In the morning..... Yikes.